Here's another for you all to laugh about!

What does a Catholic priest have in common with a pint of guinness?

If you get a bad one, they both have serious repercussions for your arse.
 
I really hate it when other people force their religion down your throat..

Catholic priests are especially good at doing this..
 
So, the Cardinal electors have gone into Conclave. Or as it is affectionately known, "Pope Idol" - each candidate stands and does their version of Hallelujah. :D
 
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Police 'stole identities of dead children' to give undercover officers new identities.

"We can't understand what all the fuss is about," said DCI Jamie Bulger and WPC Millie Dowler.
 
Police 'stole identities of dead children' to give undercover officers new identities.

"We can't understand what all the fuss is about," said DCI Jamie Bulger and WPC Millie Dowler.

You bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad man! :lol:
 
In a London Nursing home an old priest lay dying. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see David Cameron and Nick Clegg before I die”, whispered the priest. “I’ll see what I can do, Father”, replied the nurse”

The nurse sent the request to No 10 and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; David and Nick would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, David commented to Nick, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images”. Nick agreed that it was the right thing to do at this time.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took David’s hand in his
right hand and then Nick’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face. The old priest slowly said: “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour,Jesus Christ.”
“Amen”, said David “Amen”, said Nick. The old priest continued, “Jesus died between two lying thieving bastards; and


I would like to do the same....”
 
I was trying to pull a girl in a club.

"I wouldn't have sex with you if you were last person on earth" she shouted in my face.

"If I was the last person on earth" I replied, "there wouldn't be anyone to stop me".
 
I see the BBC are reporting that a Vatican department shares a Rome palazzo with gay sauna.

So, one building is a meeting place for homosexual men who meet to take part in orgies, sodomy and other morally questionable practices, and the other is a gay sauna.
 
Black smoke is seen coming from the Vactican, meaning they must be getting rid of witness statements and DNA evidence....
 
My best mate found out last week that he couldn't give his wife children.

He committed suicide last night.

I went to see his wife today, I held her in my arms, comforting her, both of us crying.

"He didn't even leave a note." She sobbed.

"He wanted to, but couldn't." I wailed back.

"Why not?" She sniffed.

"He had no lead in his pencil." I replied.
 
You bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad man! :lol:

I know!!!
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A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed reading.

The man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

His wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

The man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
 
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