Here's another for you all to laugh about!

My wife said to me, "Dave, make me feel like I'm 15 again".

So I ate a pack of Scampi Fries and made her sniff my fingers.
 
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their moustache then, suddenly, she's not your friend anymore.
 
Happy International Women's Day! Or a sad one, or an angry one, or maybe a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women.
 
Piers Morgan says that women send him their knickers through the post...presumably with the message 'From one c**t to another'.
 
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?

Applicant: Hmm.. probably having sex with my boss's wife.

Interviewer: Excuse me?!

Applicant: Na, I'm only kidding. Definitely making jokes at inappropriate times.
 
So there's another video of a lass f**king her dog on Facebook?

Typical woman, shagging a mans best friend.
 
I heard the Queen's got diarrhoea

Nobody will have seen royal skidmarks as bad as this since that tunnel in Paris.
 
I was watching Crufts on TV, but the missus turned over to 'Take me out' when I went for p**s....

It took me 20 minutes before I noticed.
 
As I got on top of my wife and started to pump away, I suddenly stopped and thought to myself, "Why the f**k am I trying to resucitate her?"
 
I asked my Scouse mate why he only spent 3 quid on his mum for Mothers Day.

"That's all she had in her purse." He said.
 
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