Trends that piss you off.
42RM
Banned
10 Things That Piss Me Off:
1. People who point at their wrist while
asking for the time. I know where my watch is,
buddy...where the hell is yours? Do I point at
my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
2. People in the supermarket check out line
who wait until their entire bill is rung up
before they begin writing their check.
Hello...is the store name going to change,
or the date, or your signature before the
clerk finishes? Get a clue!
3. People who are willing to get off their
ass to search the entire room for the damn TV
remote because they refuse to walk to the TV
and change it manually!
4. When people say..."Oh, you just want to
have your cake and eat it, too." Screw that!!!
What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't
eat it? What should I do...eat someone else's
piece of cake instead.
5. When people say..."It's always the last
place you look." No ****!! Why the hell would
you keep looking for it after you've already
found it?? Do people do this?? Who and where
are they??
6. When people say, while watching a movie
.."Did you see that?" No, dumb ass, I paid
$7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the
ceiling up there. What did you come here for??.
7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did
ya buddy?
8. When something is "New & Improved," Which
is it? If it's new, there has never been anything
before it. If it's an improvement then there must
have been something before it!
9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks
if you know how fast you were going. "You should
know, *******. You're the one that pulled me
over!"
Here's the 10TH thing that really bugs
me....
10. Chain letters! Who the hell thinks that
by annoying other people with stupid mail with
no meaning, that they will grant you a wish, or
make your long-lost love fall into your arms.
B******t! I'm so sure that by breaking a stupid
chain letter that the computer gods are going to
curse me!! What a crock of ****!!!
By the way, if you send this to 10
people, **** won't happen, and that person you're
in love with won't come crawling to you...so if
you feel this is funny, go on and send it to some
one else, but don't expect one damn thing in return!
1. People who point at their wrist while
asking for the time. I know where my watch is,
buddy...where the hell is yours? Do I point at
my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
2. People in the supermarket check out line
who wait until their entire bill is rung up
before they begin writing their check.
Hello...is the store name going to change,
or the date, or your signature before the
clerk finishes? Get a clue!
3. People who are willing to get off their
ass to search the entire room for the damn TV
remote because they refuse to walk to the TV
and change it manually!
4. When people say..."Oh, you just want to
have your cake and eat it, too." Screw that!!!
What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't
eat it? What should I do...eat someone else's
piece of cake instead.
5. When people say..."It's always the last
place you look." No ****!! Why the hell would
you keep looking for it after you've already
found it?? Do people do this?? Who and where
are they??
6. When people say, while watching a movie
.."Did you see that?" No, dumb ass, I paid
$7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the
ceiling up there. What did you come here for??.
7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did
ya buddy?
8. When something is "New & Improved," Which
is it? If it's new, there has never been anything
before it. If it's an improvement then there must
have been something before it!
9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks
if you know how fast you were going. "You should
know, *******. You're the one that pulled me
over!"
Here's the 10TH thing that really bugs
me....
10. Chain letters! Who the hell thinks that
by annoying other people with stupid mail with
no meaning, that they will grant you a wish, or
make your long-lost love fall into your arms.
B******t! I'm so sure that by breaking a stupid
chain letter that the computer gods are going to
curse me!! What a crock of ****!!!
By the way, if you send this to 10
people, **** won't happen, and that person you're
in love with won't come crawling to you...so if
you feel this is funny, go on and send it to some
one else, but don't expect one damn thing in return!
Trooper1854
The Brit Pack
Thats the motto of the NHS Ambulance Service!
Trooper1854
The Brit Pack
English people who come back from a holliday in Australia, and talk with an Australian accent!
They don't do it when the come back from an Indian holliday!
They don't do it when the come back from an Indian holliday!
Yossarian
Forum Resistance Leader
How about after a Sunday drive at $4.00 a gallon in the U.S?
Of course anyone from the common wealth around here is automatically elevated in social status once they start talking.
Not saying I am not jealous or anything...
MontyB
All-Blacks Supporter
You have to remember Australian is an easy language to learn, it has the 5 step learning structure:
1) Replace I with E so Shrimp becomes Shremp.
2) End all first names in O so instead of Dave and Robert you have Davo and Robo.
3) Add extra letter A's to words so instead of Dance and Chance you have Daaance and Chaaance.
4) To get the tone correct talk through your nose.
5) When dealing with things other than peoples names end everything in "ie", so for example you were bitten by a mossie in Aussie while throwing another shremp on the barbie the night Davo came over after the daaance.
r.fox
Active member
You have to remember Australian is an easy language to learn, it has the 5 step learning structure:
1) Replace I with E so Shrimp becomes Shremp.
2) End all first names in O so instead of Dave and Robert you have Davo and Robo.
3) Add extra letter A's to words so instead of Dance and Chance you have Daaance and Chaaance.
4) To get the tone correct talk through your nose.
5) When dealing with things other than peoples names end everything in "ie", so for example you were bitten by a mossie in Aussie while throwing another shremp on the barbie the night Davo came over after the daaance.
very true
Yossarian
Forum Resistance Leader
You have to remember Australian is an easy language to learn, it has the 5 step learning structure:
1) Replace I with E so Shrimp becomes Shremp.
2) End all first names in O so instead of Dave and Robert you have Davo and Robo.
3) Add extra letter A's to words so instead of Dance and Chance you have Daaance and Chaaance.
4) To get the tone correct talk through your nose.
5) When dealing with things other than peoples names end everything in "ie", so for example you were bitten by a mossie in Aussie while throwing another shremp on the barbie the night Davo came over after the daaance.
Dat rite char remins me ofs my upbringins and my very peeculiar dialects.
Cos' theres allways nother waya skinnins uh cat!
Aighnt lifes a charms?
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MontyB
All-Blacks Supporter
Actually you have reminded me of my biggest peeve, people that butcher the English language simply because they are too lazy to speak it properly.
An example of what I mean, I was following a mother and her kid through the local supermarket and over heard the mother saying that they only needed "A milk and a chips".
Yossarian
Forum Resistance Leader
Oh , You mean like when I sent an electonic text based message asking a female freind of mine when an event was starting, and I qoute.
"u needz 2 b there b4 430 or u will miss us kbye."
MontyB
All-Blacks Supporter
Oddly enough no I don't mean like that as texting is limited to what 100 characters therefore abbreviations are a requirement (even though I am probably the last person alive to text in full).
My problem is the laziness of what they said and the standard it was setting for the kid she had with her.
senojekips
Active member
You and my missus. Me?... I don't even have a mobile phone.
You have to remember Australian is an easy language to learn, it has the 5 step learning structure:
1) Replace I with E so Shrimp becomes Shremp.
2) End all first names in O so instead of Dave and Robert you have Davo and Robo.
3) Add extra letter A's to words so instead of Dance and Chance you have Daaance and Chaaance.
4) To get the tone correct talk through your nose.
5) When dealing with things other than peoples names end everything in "ie", so for example you were bitten by a mossie in Aussie while throwing another shremp on the barbie the night Davo came over after the daaance.
No, we actually say, "shrimp" at 0:36secs, even that d!ckhead Paul Hogan says it, when "bunging it on" for the Yanks.
| Shrimp on the Barbie | |
You might note that in Australia, no one actually eats shrimp, we eat "prawns". Shrimp are small almost translucent fresh water crustaceans used only for bait, but the word was used in the ad for the benefit of American tourists who call prawns, "shrimp".
Oh,... and only those with a private education say daaance, chaance etc., and we take the p!ss out of them too.
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trailbrake2088
Active member
I have to say anyone that starts a sentence with yo! Also obese people in general irritate me. (I will have a large double large fry and a diet coke wtf??!!)
AFSteliga
Token Canadian Moder'eh'tor
You're certainly not the last person. I can't stand texting in 'short form'.
Trooper1854
The Brit Pack
People putting on fake accents or talk using "Gansta" speak wind me up.
Went to a white European lad who had been assaulted.
I asked what happened and I was told:
"He dissed ma *****. So I goes to him to get some respect but him and is blood slap me up. I gonna shank da...... etc etc."
His mobile rang and he then answered "Oh father! It was awful! I've been assaulted. The Paramedics are here now and I may need to go to hospital."
I asked, again for an explanation as to what had happened, but in real English please.
Went to a white European lad who had been assaulted.
I asked what happened and I was told:
"He dissed ma *****. So I goes to him to get some respect but him and is blood slap me up. I gonna shank da...... etc etc."
His mobile rang and he then answered "Oh father! It was awful! I've been assaulted. The Paramedics are here now and I may need to go to hospital."
I asked, again for an explanation as to what had happened, but in real English please.
Sara
Shepherdess
Purchasing a new laptop with the virus protection, firewall, you name it and a few days later having 5000 "issues" show up at the bottom of the page. Pop ups while I'm watching a video or reading an interesting story. Internet shutting down suddenly for no reason, then finding out you can buy a small box, hook it up to your tv and "play computer" right off your tv set. But---you're not really willing to do that either as the last thing you want is to be watching television and have a warning of a terrible contagious virus spreading among the commercials. 
BritinBritain
Per Ardua Ad Astra
I did, "Oh bloody blimey, Queen Victoria very good man," while shaking my head from side to side.:type:
Sorry I couldn't help myself.:angel:
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Trooper1854
The Brit Pack
Another example of "gangsta speak" I heard recently was when a distraught young man explained to his friend
"Da poo poos ave taken ma skate!"
Translates to: "Those law enforcement chaps have confiscated one's automobile".:lol:
"Da poo poos ave taken ma skate!"
Translates to: "Those law enforcement chaps have confiscated one's automobile".:lol:
Really...?? That was something I picked up from a book about the Vietnam War many years back.... kinda got stuck with it...
The other phrase I had pasted on the file I used when I was a case manager for a local hospital- basically what we do is that we planned their discharge the day they got admitted, and to manage their follow-up treatment (how nasty can you get?)- was this- "The only easy day was yesterday...". This was something I picked up from a SEAL book that I read sometime back- I think...
Yup, probably this is what I sound after visiting Scotland- "I'm taking a boos to the poob..."