This was my first day in the Army, and it went rather like this....
When I was called for National Service I was not a happy bunny, I had to give almost full three years of my studies on Electrical Engineering City & Guilds. I also had to leave behind a beautiful young woman that I was engaged to; she was a classical dancer with the Festival Ballet Company.
On arrival at the Barracks the processing started, they wanted to know your next of kin and your religion. Well I knew I could not beat the Army
Face to face so speak but I every intention of making their lives as difficult as they intended to make mine. Well when it was my turn to give my details to the corporal I gave him my parents details as next of kin. Now religion is an area where I thought I could have some fun. Well the Corporal shouted out religion, to which I replied Zulu Presbyterian. There was a stunned silence a Sergeant marched up and said to the corporal put him down on the sheet like the rest of them C of E. Well I was not going to let that go so like I fool I said to sergeant may I ask your name, why he bellowed. I then said for one I would be asked by my adopted uncle the chief of the Zulu Nation just who had refused me the right to practice my religion. I also pointed out to him that my farther had been a District Commissioner out there and I had been adopted by the chief and know doubt that he would write in a complaint to the Foreign Office, and they would in turn take the matter up. [Mind you it was all bluff, as I had not been out of the country]. Well the sergeant was quite for a minute or so then shouted put the bastard down as a Zulu Presbyterian then. For these were funny times as you could have a convict in a bed one side of you and a belted Earl on the other side, and they could never be sure just who was who.
Mind you the bugger got his own back that day, the sod had me peeling
A couple of hundredweight of onions. Now I always thought it was joke
when I saw people crying while peeling onions, but I have never laughed at that again.