cpl_clarke
Active member
too funny. this is something ill be sure to share with all my buddies.
213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do in the US Army
c/Commander
Active member
2xx. Must not throw an M67 into a lake. Fish don't like it, and neither does a small boat. Talk about waves...
USAFAUX2004
Active member
thats one of the best posts ever!
USAFAUX2004
Active member
i will print it out and store for EVER
bonnieblue716
Active member
I wish I could put this on my webpage, and update it. These are sooo good, but I imagine, everyone in this forum could add a few. I thought up about thirty of them just off the top of my head, and i'm just a civi.
for example: Shooting an MP in the a$$ with a concealed water gun, is one of the quickest and funest ways of getting arrested, or cussed depending on her rank.
The actual funest way is to organize and hold a mud wrestling match on the obstacle course.
When asked why I was late to my duty station, the correct response is “Sorry Sir, unaviodablely detained, it won’t happen again Sir.” Not “I had to take a s!!t”, “I was in town getting laid”, “I’m high”, “Because I felt like it”, “Just securing my rack Sir”, and “I’m late.…What the he!! time was I suppose to be here?!!!”.
Barking at a MWD just to pi$$ it off, is inmature, and is "going to comeback to bite me in the a$$ one of these days."
I'm not allowed to sing "If I Could See An Elephant Fly", durning officers PT test.
Yelling "INCOMING" while patroling in the boonies just to see who will duck and cover, makes people want to kick my a$$.
Calvary officer's no longer use horses, so any reference to a horses a$$ isn't nessecary.
A group of soldiers in woodland camo BDU's is a platoon, not "the green boys"
Making a UXO out of soda bottles, fillling it with sand to simulate black power and putting it in bed with my sleeping CO, is not and will never be considered funny.
"Call the president boys, I found a WMD", while frisking a women for weapons, is also not funny.
Spending hours trying to get the only tomb guard you've ever met to cuss is not considered a hobby.
Spending hours with the afore mentioned soldier trying to get him to "knock your God D@*n block off" is also not considered a hobby.
I'm not allowed to start a pool, or give odds on the fights that naturally seem to break out around the X-box in the WMR room.
If I'm ever so bored that I want to hide my roomates personal hygine items ever again, I should go to my CO, he will provide other forms of entainment.
Letting out a HUGE series of farts in a packed APC will get the s**t beat out of you.
Breaking the cardinal rule of not smoking in an APC, no matter how nevrous you are, will also get the s**t beat out of you, well when everyone recovers from breathing the flame retardent chemicals of the fire control system you just set off.
Ok, that's the best ones, Come'on I know y'all know some, or have heard some over the years.
for example: Shooting an MP in the a$$ with a concealed water gun, is one of the quickest and funest ways of getting arrested, or cussed depending on her rank.
The actual funest way is to organize and hold a mud wrestling match on the obstacle course.
When asked why I was late to my duty station, the correct response is “Sorry Sir, unaviodablely detained, it won’t happen again Sir.” Not “I had to take a s!!t”, “I was in town getting laid”, “I’m high”, “Because I felt like it”, “Just securing my rack Sir”, and “I’m late.…What the he!! time was I suppose to be here?!!!”.
Barking at a MWD just to pi$$ it off, is inmature, and is "going to comeback to bite me in the a$$ one of these days."
I'm not allowed to sing "If I Could See An Elephant Fly", durning officers PT test.
Yelling "INCOMING" while patroling in the boonies just to see who will duck and cover, makes people want to kick my a$$.
Calvary officer's no longer use horses, so any reference to a horses a$$ isn't nessecary.
A group of soldiers in woodland camo BDU's is a platoon, not "the green boys"
Making a UXO out of soda bottles, fillling it with sand to simulate black power and putting it in bed with my sleeping CO, is not and will never be considered funny.
"Call the president boys, I found a WMD", while frisking a women for weapons, is also not funny.
Spending hours trying to get the only tomb guard you've ever met to cuss is not considered a hobby.
Spending hours with the afore mentioned soldier trying to get him to "knock your God D@*n block off" is also not considered a hobby.
I'm not allowed to start a pool, or give odds on the fights that naturally seem to break out around the X-box in the WMR room.
If I'm ever so bored that I want to hide my roomates personal hygine items ever again, I should go to my CO, he will provide other forms of entainment.
Letting out a HUGE series of farts in a packed APC will get the s**t beat out of you.
Breaking the cardinal rule of not smoking in an APC, no matter how nevrous you are, will also get the s**t beat out of you, well when everyone recovers from breathing the flame retardent chemicals of the fire control system you just set off.
Ok, that's the best ones, Come'on I know y'all know some, or have heard some over the years.
USAFAUX2004
Active member
I gave it to my friends and they all enjoyed it, even those that don't know much about the military
FutureDevilDog
Active member
USAFAUX2004
Active member
LOL, this one is always fun to revisit
Shadow Hunter
Active member
Re: 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do in the US A
These are so funny I made all of my AFJROTC group laugh with these. These are the funniest IMOFutureRANGER said:
Topgunjn1
Active member
I've read the list 3 times now its hilarious!! i especially love these 2
198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
usmarinepsycho007
New Member
Laughed until the tears came because I am say "In Accordance with the prophesy" when asked a question or when I am asking the question...Opps. LOL...This is great. I love it!
