AZ_Infantry
Active member
Prayers for my mom, please. UPDATE page 2 - mom passed
This will be a little long, so bear with me...
For those of you that don't know, I take care of my elderly mother (she's 68), and when she retired I moved her into my home. She's an 8-year Navy veteran. She was a nurse, and as they were transporting a patient via ambulance one day they were 'T-boned'. My mom broke 27 bones in her back and hips. They said she'd never walk again. They were wrong. She's a VERY strong and independent lady.
2 months ago I returned home (Phoenix, AZ) from a job I was doing in California. I noticed that my mom was acting kind of... sluggish. She just wasn't hopping around like she usually does. Her normal jovial mood seemed to be a facade, rather than the sincere happiness she normally exudes.
Several weeks ago, she was complaining of pain in her left hip. She needed to hold on to walls to get around. She was sleeping a LOT. Late one night she woke me up and said the pain was just too much, that she wanted to go to the hospital. She could hardly move. I called 911 and she was transported to the hospital. They diagnosed her with acute pain from her injury in the Navy, gave her some Percoset and instructions to follow up with her PCP (VA Hospital) in a week and sent her home.
There was blood on her nightgown and on the bed. The paramedics couldn't find any injury in the area (ribcage), and mom said she thought it was from where the cat had scratched her.
Things got REAL bad after that. She was sleeping almost 24 hours a day. She could hardly move. I thought it was from the medication at first, but it was getting worse - it should have been getting better as she adjusted to the meds.
She stopped eating and drinking. I woke her up to take her blood pressure medication, but after only a couple of days I couldn't even get her to do that. I took a leave of absence from work so I could take care of her full-time.
Three days after being released from the hospital I once again called 911. She was totally out of it. She couldn't wake up, she was thrashing around in pain, and I couldn't roust her at all. I demanded she be taken to a different hospital, as the last one's diagnosis didn't match the symptoms she was displaying. They concurred.
That was 0800 hours, Saturday the 9th (of this month).
By 2000 hours we had the verdict:
My mom had severely progressed breast cancer. It was in its last stage. The cancer spread from her breasts to her spine, hips, liver, spleen, kidneys and lungs. It is not operable. There is only one prognosis: Let nature take its course.
In accordance with my mom's living will (and what we knew she wanted), my brother and I put aside our differences and signed her DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order Monday morning so that she could get a full regime of pain medicine. Without the DNR, they were limited to .5 mg Dilantin (sp?) because of the risk of respiratory complications. With the DNR they could administer the maximum dose of 1 mg every 3 hours, which would allow her to be comfortable and die in peace.
On Tuesday I met with the folks from Hospice of Arizona. Their assessment was the same as the hospital’s: There is no chance of recovery. Their suggestion was to make her as comfortable as possible and let her die in peace. As I have power of attorney, I spoke with my brother and my uncle, her only relatives here in AZ, and we agreed that we'd rather let her pass in peace than try and fight the inevitable. I signed her paperwork that morning and by Tuesday afternoon she was resting in her own private room in a 12-bed Hospice facility.
They are somewhat optimistic that she’ll stabilize enough to come home and die here, in my home surrounded by her things and her cat. She’d like that. They’ll provide around the clock care for her.
I can’t say enough about these Hospice folks. They are a Godsend. In her current facility, they have a bed so I can stay the night with her. They let me bring her cat to see her. They allowed me to hang her stuff up on her walls so as her special awareness returns she’ll see the things she loves the most – a picture of her deceased husband, her Rosary, this stupid little plastic Panda Bear I bought her when I got my first job at 12 that she’s had on display all this time… The picture of her grandsons she cherishes.
My uncle and I visited her in her new Hospice setting, and she at least recognized us. She was able to say she was thirsty, which is 180 degrees from where she was only a couple days ago. She was able to tell us that she wasn’t in pain.
Everything happened so suddenly, just as it did with my stepfather. He was alive Friday, dead Monday, from the same thing: Cancer. My mom hasn’t passed yet, but it is but a matter of time. A short matter of time.
My brother and I knew she had breast cancer, but we did NOT know she refused medical treatment for it when she was diagnosed some 2 years ago. The nurse tells us that she sees it often, as parents don’t like to worry their children and are usually comfortable to die and be with those that have gone before them.
So I’m asking for your prayers. Not that she receive some miracle, as she wants to let go and pass – I will honor her in that respect and allow her to go. No, I only ask that the Lord help her stabilize enough that she can pass here, surrounded by the things she knows and loves. No matter how nice her Hospice room, it ain’t HERS.
Please pray for the Lord’s will. Honor her as a veteran and an asset to this earth. She was the best parent ever. When my dad was busy drinking, she was walking to work and working two jobs just to make ends meet. She never had a selfish bone in her body.
She will be buried next to both of her husbands in the local VA cemetery. If I am able, I will ensure she receives full military honors.
I love you mom, and I miss you. This world is a sad place without you, but it is Heaven’s gain. Go when you are ready, with our blessing. We will meet again in the arms of Christ, at the feet of God.
This will be a little long, so bear with me...
For those of you that don't know, I take care of my elderly mother (she's 68), and when she retired I moved her into my home. She's an 8-year Navy veteran. She was a nurse, and as they were transporting a patient via ambulance one day they were 'T-boned'. My mom broke 27 bones in her back and hips. They said she'd never walk again. They were wrong. She's a VERY strong and independent lady.
2 months ago I returned home (Phoenix, AZ) from a job I was doing in California. I noticed that my mom was acting kind of... sluggish. She just wasn't hopping around like she usually does. Her normal jovial mood seemed to be a facade, rather than the sincere happiness she normally exudes.
Several weeks ago, she was complaining of pain in her left hip. She needed to hold on to walls to get around. She was sleeping a LOT. Late one night she woke me up and said the pain was just too much, that she wanted to go to the hospital. She could hardly move. I called 911 and she was transported to the hospital. They diagnosed her with acute pain from her injury in the Navy, gave her some Percoset and instructions to follow up with her PCP (VA Hospital) in a week and sent her home.
There was blood on her nightgown and on the bed. The paramedics couldn't find any injury in the area (ribcage), and mom said she thought it was from where the cat had scratched her.
Things got REAL bad after that. She was sleeping almost 24 hours a day. She could hardly move. I thought it was from the medication at first, but it was getting worse - it should have been getting better as she adjusted to the meds.
She stopped eating and drinking. I woke her up to take her blood pressure medication, but after only a couple of days I couldn't even get her to do that. I took a leave of absence from work so I could take care of her full-time.
Three days after being released from the hospital I once again called 911. She was totally out of it. She couldn't wake up, she was thrashing around in pain, and I couldn't roust her at all. I demanded she be taken to a different hospital, as the last one's diagnosis didn't match the symptoms she was displaying. They concurred.
That was 0800 hours, Saturday the 9th (of this month).
By 2000 hours we had the verdict:
My mom had severely progressed breast cancer. It was in its last stage. The cancer spread from her breasts to her spine, hips, liver, spleen, kidneys and lungs. It is not operable. There is only one prognosis: Let nature take its course.
In accordance with my mom's living will (and what we knew she wanted), my brother and I put aside our differences and signed her DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order Monday morning so that she could get a full regime of pain medicine. Without the DNR, they were limited to .5 mg Dilantin (sp?) because of the risk of respiratory complications. With the DNR they could administer the maximum dose of 1 mg every 3 hours, which would allow her to be comfortable and die in peace.
On Tuesday I met with the folks from Hospice of Arizona. Their assessment was the same as the hospital’s: There is no chance of recovery. Their suggestion was to make her as comfortable as possible and let her die in peace. As I have power of attorney, I spoke with my brother and my uncle, her only relatives here in AZ, and we agreed that we'd rather let her pass in peace than try and fight the inevitable. I signed her paperwork that morning and by Tuesday afternoon she was resting in her own private room in a 12-bed Hospice facility.
They are somewhat optimistic that she’ll stabilize enough to come home and die here, in my home surrounded by her things and her cat. She’d like that. They’ll provide around the clock care for her.
I can’t say enough about these Hospice folks. They are a Godsend. In her current facility, they have a bed so I can stay the night with her. They let me bring her cat to see her. They allowed me to hang her stuff up on her walls so as her special awareness returns she’ll see the things she loves the most – a picture of her deceased husband, her Rosary, this stupid little plastic Panda Bear I bought her when I got my first job at 12 that she’s had on display all this time… The picture of her grandsons she cherishes.
My uncle and I visited her in her new Hospice setting, and she at least recognized us. She was able to say she was thirsty, which is 180 degrees from where she was only a couple days ago. She was able to tell us that she wasn’t in pain.
Everything happened so suddenly, just as it did with my stepfather. He was alive Friday, dead Monday, from the same thing: Cancer. My mom hasn’t passed yet, but it is but a matter of time. A short matter of time.
My brother and I knew she had breast cancer, but we did NOT know she refused medical treatment for it when she was diagnosed some 2 years ago. The nurse tells us that she sees it often, as parents don’t like to worry their children and are usually comfortable to die and be with those that have gone before them.
So I’m asking for your prayers. Not that she receive some miracle, as she wants to let go and pass – I will honor her in that respect and allow her to go. No, I only ask that the Lord help her stabilize enough that she can pass here, surrounded by the things she knows and loves. No matter how nice her Hospice room, it ain’t HERS.
Please pray for the Lord’s will. Honor her as a veteran and an asset to this earth. She was the best parent ever. When my dad was busy drinking, she was walking to work and working two jobs just to make ends meet. She never had a selfish bone in her body.
She will be buried next to both of her husbands in the local VA cemetery. If I am able, I will ensure she receives full military honors.
I love you mom, and I miss you. This world is a sad place without you, but it is Heaven’s gain. Go when you are ready, with our blessing. We will meet again in the arms of Christ, at the feet of God.
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