This article contains content that may be deemed offensive or objectionable. However, the information describes controversial and taboo experiences of soldiers in a specific context; viz. the Border War period of South African history and thus objectivity is necessary. Have you had similar experiences on active service?
Pielparade (South African military slang)
'''Pielparade''' is an Afrikaans colloquial term commonly used by South African military personnel, especially servicemen and veterans of the old South African Defense Force (S.A.D.F.), which has also entered mainstream South African English as slang. The term means '***** parades' and refers to a range of sexual games or practices in which groups of soldiers participate, supposedly to foster group cohesion. Since pielparade are taboo, and because of the controversial and sensitive nature of the activities of the S.A.D.F. during the final period of the apartheid era, pielparade are rarely written about or openly discussed in public. Pielparade have never been officially sanctioned, and their occurrence largely depended on the predilections of individual section or platoon leaders. Apart from promoting group cohesiveness, the games were also meant to be humorous and to entertain the troops.
==Description==
Laërskommel
The most common game is known as 'laërskommel' which literally translates as 'laager milkshake' but means 'circle jerk' which is when a group of men form a circle and stimulate their genitals till they come. During the nineteenth century, the ancestors of the Afrikaners, called Boers, used to create encampments formed by a circle of wagons to protect them from attacks by hostile African tribes or wild animals. These circular encampments were called laagers in Dutch which the Boers spoke at the time but their Dutch eventually evolved into Afrikaans. The Afrikaans word for 'laager' is 'laër'. The 'skommel' or 'milkshake' part of 'laërskommel' refers to male masturbation and semen.
The section or platoon would gather in the section or platoon bungalow or outside and create an area called the 'saadskietbaan'. 'Saad' means 'seed' or 'seeds' but in this context it means 'semen', 'skiet' means 'shoot' and 'baan' means 'shooting range' or 'a range for target practice'. The section or platoon leader would order participants to form a circle or line up in a row behind a line in the 'saadskietbaan'. Soldiers would then place bets on which participants would come first, last or furthest. Participants were then ordered to strip naked. The 'laërskommel' might be preceded by a 'worswedstryd' (see below) or participants were ordered to perform 'jumping jacks' or 'star jumps' which are a type of physical exercise in which the performer jumps from a standing position with the arms and legs pointing outwards. The purpose of ordering the participants to perform 'jumping jacks' was partly to humiliate them and to humour the onlookers because the participants' genitals would inevitably flail up and down. Participants would then proceed to stimulate themselves till they came. Occasionally, participants would be ordered to stimulate other participants' genitals. After the last participant had finished ejaculating, the winnings were then distributed.
Worswedstryd
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'wors' which means 'sausage' and 'wedstryd' which means 'match' or 'game'. Participants would take bets to see whose *****es were the longest or shortest or thickest, and the money or whatever was being bet would then be distributed to the winners.
Handstoot
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'hand' which means 'hand' and 'stoot' which means 'push'. Participants would stand naked in a row and thrust their erect genitals in their hands till they came, basically as if they were having sex with their own hands. Bets would be placed on who could come first, last or the furthest.
Olifantloop
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'olifant' which means 'elephant' and 'loop' which means 'walk'. Participants would be ordered to stand naked in a column. Each soldier would take hold of the genitals of the soldier in front of him by putting his hands between the soldier's legs from behind, as well as the genitals of the soldier behind him. The participants would then be ordered to walk, to the amusement of the onlookers.
Kussingkannon
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'kussing' which means 'cushion' or 'pillow' and 'kannon' which means 'cannon'. Participants would be ordered to strip naked, make their genitals erect and then rub them against a pillow or cushion till they came. As with other pielparade, bets would be placed on which participant would come first or last or the furthest.
Poppekas
This game derives from the Afrikaans word for 'doll house'. A soldier would bring a woman, usually a prostitute, to the platoon bungalow and have sex with her while other troops watch. Sometimes the woman would be aware and sometimes the woman would be unaware that she was being watched. The troops watching would be ordered to come while watching.
Flaminkbomme
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘flamink’ which means ‘flamingo’ and ‘bomme’ which means ‘bombs’. Flamingos sleep by balancing on one leg. In this game, participants would be ordered to strip naked and stand on one leg by holding the other leg by the foot behind the back. The participants would then be ordered to stimulate themselves and come while trying to balance on one leg. The participants had to stimulate themselves with the hand which they did not usually use to do so. If the participants failed to maintain their balance, they would be punished with an ‘opfok’ (literally ‘up-f**k’, or ‘f**k up’) which was a series of punishment exercises like push-ups, running, jumping jacks, etc.
Bajonet
This game derives from the Afrikaans word ‘bajonet which means ‘bayonet’ and is also jokingly known as ‘skerm’, (which means ‘fencing’),‘swaardveg’ (which means ‘sword-fighting’) or ‘geweerkolf’ (which means ‘rifle-butting’). This game was essentially a form of frottage; direct genital-to-genital contact, in which participants would use their genitals as ‘swords’ in a ‘swordfight’, which usually involved the competitive element of trying to make the other participant come first.
Jagsbly
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘jags’ which means ‘horny’ and ‘bly’ which means ‘to remain’. The section or platoon leader would order the soldiers to strip naked and stimulate themselves. The participants would then engage in edging or orgasm control which is a sexual technique that involves a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm. The competitive aspect of this game would be to see which soldier could continue masturbating the longest without having an orgasm.
Eensame kannon or Lekkende kraan or Kraanspuit
"Eensaam' means 'lonely' and 'kannon' means 'cannon'; 'lekkende' means 'leaky' and 'kraan' means 'tap'; 'spuit' means 'spray' or 'shoot'. In this game, soldiers in a platoon bungalow would be ordererd to strip naked and stand together in a group. Then they would be ordered to stimulate themselves. Whenever a participant was ready to come, he would have to raise his hand and stand in front of the group so that all of the soldiers could watch him come. This would continue till every soldier had finished ejaculating.
Komkoor
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘kom’ which means ‘***’ and ‘koor’ which means ‘choir’. In this game, soldiers would be ordered to strip naked and stimulate themselves. Each soldier had to reach a point so that the entire squad or platoon could come simultaneously. If a soldier came too soon, or too late, the entire squad or platoon would be punished with an ‘opfok’ (a series of punishment exercises) and afterwards would have to repeat the ‘komkoor’.
Komkoffie
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘kom’ which means ‘***’ and ‘koffie’ which means ‘coffee’. Soldiers would be ordered to play with themselves and come into the same mug or cup one by one. The group would continue to repeat ejaculations till the mug or cup was filled to the brim with semen. The soldier that came the least would have the mug or cup of semen poured over him by the group.
Soggy Marie or Soggy biscuit or Soggy cookie
Marie biscuits are a brand of biscuits in South Africa. In this game, contestants were ordered to come onto a digestive biscuit or cookie. Whoever came first was deemed the winner, and the last person to come was forced to eat the biscuit.
==Motivation==
There are various reasons why pielparade were encouraged, but the overall purpose was supposedly to promote greater group cohesion and to foster 'gehoorsaamheid' ('obedience') much like the ancient Spartans.
Pielparade (South African military slang)
'''Pielparade''' is an Afrikaans colloquial term commonly used by South African military personnel, especially servicemen and veterans of the old South African Defense Force (S.A.D.F.), which has also entered mainstream South African English as slang. The term means '***** parades' and refers to a range of sexual games or practices in which groups of soldiers participate, supposedly to foster group cohesion. Since pielparade are taboo, and because of the controversial and sensitive nature of the activities of the S.A.D.F. during the final period of the apartheid era, pielparade are rarely written about or openly discussed in public. Pielparade have never been officially sanctioned, and their occurrence largely depended on the predilections of individual section or platoon leaders. Apart from promoting group cohesiveness, the games were also meant to be humorous and to entertain the troops.
==Description==
Laërskommel
The most common game is known as 'laërskommel' which literally translates as 'laager milkshake' but means 'circle jerk' which is when a group of men form a circle and stimulate their genitals till they come. During the nineteenth century, the ancestors of the Afrikaners, called Boers, used to create encampments formed by a circle of wagons to protect them from attacks by hostile African tribes or wild animals. These circular encampments were called laagers in Dutch which the Boers spoke at the time but their Dutch eventually evolved into Afrikaans. The Afrikaans word for 'laager' is 'laër'. The 'skommel' or 'milkshake' part of 'laërskommel' refers to male masturbation and semen.
The section or platoon would gather in the section or platoon bungalow or outside and create an area called the 'saadskietbaan'. 'Saad' means 'seed' or 'seeds' but in this context it means 'semen', 'skiet' means 'shoot' and 'baan' means 'shooting range' or 'a range for target practice'. The section or platoon leader would order participants to form a circle or line up in a row behind a line in the 'saadskietbaan'. Soldiers would then place bets on which participants would come first, last or furthest. Participants were then ordered to strip naked. The 'laërskommel' might be preceded by a 'worswedstryd' (see below) or participants were ordered to perform 'jumping jacks' or 'star jumps' which are a type of physical exercise in which the performer jumps from a standing position with the arms and legs pointing outwards. The purpose of ordering the participants to perform 'jumping jacks' was partly to humiliate them and to humour the onlookers because the participants' genitals would inevitably flail up and down. Participants would then proceed to stimulate themselves till they came. Occasionally, participants would be ordered to stimulate other participants' genitals. After the last participant had finished ejaculating, the winnings were then distributed.
Worswedstryd
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'wors' which means 'sausage' and 'wedstryd' which means 'match' or 'game'. Participants would take bets to see whose *****es were the longest or shortest or thickest, and the money or whatever was being bet would then be distributed to the winners.
Handstoot
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'hand' which means 'hand' and 'stoot' which means 'push'. Participants would stand naked in a row and thrust their erect genitals in their hands till they came, basically as if they were having sex with their own hands. Bets would be placed on who could come first, last or the furthest.
Olifantloop
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'olifant' which means 'elephant' and 'loop' which means 'walk'. Participants would be ordered to stand naked in a column. Each soldier would take hold of the genitals of the soldier in front of him by putting his hands between the soldier's legs from behind, as well as the genitals of the soldier behind him. The participants would then be ordered to walk, to the amusement of the onlookers.
Kussingkannon
This game derives from the Afrikaans words 'kussing' which means 'cushion' or 'pillow' and 'kannon' which means 'cannon'. Participants would be ordered to strip naked, make their genitals erect and then rub them against a pillow or cushion till they came. As with other pielparade, bets would be placed on which participant would come first or last or the furthest.
Poppekas
This game derives from the Afrikaans word for 'doll house'. A soldier would bring a woman, usually a prostitute, to the platoon bungalow and have sex with her while other troops watch. Sometimes the woman would be aware and sometimes the woman would be unaware that she was being watched. The troops watching would be ordered to come while watching.
Flaminkbomme
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘flamink’ which means ‘flamingo’ and ‘bomme’ which means ‘bombs’. Flamingos sleep by balancing on one leg. In this game, participants would be ordered to strip naked and stand on one leg by holding the other leg by the foot behind the back. The participants would then be ordered to stimulate themselves and come while trying to balance on one leg. The participants had to stimulate themselves with the hand which they did not usually use to do so. If the participants failed to maintain their balance, they would be punished with an ‘opfok’ (literally ‘up-f**k’, or ‘f**k up’) which was a series of punishment exercises like push-ups, running, jumping jacks, etc.
Bajonet
This game derives from the Afrikaans word ‘bajonet which means ‘bayonet’ and is also jokingly known as ‘skerm’, (which means ‘fencing’),‘swaardveg’ (which means ‘sword-fighting’) or ‘geweerkolf’ (which means ‘rifle-butting’). This game was essentially a form of frottage; direct genital-to-genital contact, in which participants would use their genitals as ‘swords’ in a ‘swordfight’, which usually involved the competitive element of trying to make the other participant come first.
Jagsbly
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘jags’ which means ‘horny’ and ‘bly’ which means ‘to remain’. The section or platoon leader would order the soldiers to strip naked and stimulate themselves. The participants would then engage in edging or orgasm control which is a sexual technique that involves a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm. The competitive aspect of this game would be to see which soldier could continue masturbating the longest without having an orgasm.
Eensame kannon or Lekkende kraan or Kraanspuit
"Eensaam' means 'lonely' and 'kannon' means 'cannon'; 'lekkende' means 'leaky' and 'kraan' means 'tap'; 'spuit' means 'spray' or 'shoot'. In this game, soldiers in a platoon bungalow would be ordererd to strip naked and stand together in a group. Then they would be ordered to stimulate themselves. Whenever a participant was ready to come, he would have to raise his hand and stand in front of the group so that all of the soldiers could watch him come. This would continue till every soldier had finished ejaculating.
Komkoor
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘kom’ which means ‘***’ and ‘koor’ which means ‘choir’. In this game, soldiers would be ordered to strip naked and stimulate themselves. Each soldier had to reach a point so that the entire squad or platoon could come simultaneously. If a soldier came too soon, or too late, the entire squad or platoon would be punished with an ‘opfok’ (a series of punishment exercises) and afterwards would have to repeat the ‘komkoor’.
Komkoffie
This game derives from the Afrikaans words ‘kom’ which means ‘***’ and ‘koffie’ which means ‘coffee’. Soldiers would be ordered to play with themselves and come into the same mug or cup one by one. The group would continue to repeat ejaculations till the mug or cup was filled to the brim with semen. The soldier that came the least would have the mug or cup of semen poured over him by the group.
Soggy Marie or Soggy biscuit or Soggy cookie
Marie biscuits are a brand of biscuits in South Africa. In this game, contestants were ordered to come onto a digestive biscuit or cookie. Whoever came first was deemed the winner, and the last person to come was forced to eat the biscuit.
==Motivation==
There are various reasons why pielparade were encouraged, but the overall purpose was supposedly to promote greater group cohesion and to foster 'gehoorsaamheid' ('obedience') much like the ancient Spartans.
